Why am I so perturbed by loiterers at coffee shops? As it relates to this specific loiterer, I felt like my ability to grab a table could be compromised by her presence. As simple as that. But then after I got a table, I still was angry. Was that just lingering anger or is there something underneath it all? Not sure. Is it the same anger I feel when some filthy little pig says ‘hi’ to me on okc? No – the angst re: filthy little pig is caused by my fear that if she feels that I’m attainable, I must be a 3 or so. Pure insecurity as far as my looks/superficial appearance go. The angst toward the loiterer is something altogether different.
On the topic of angst and should, I was upset by the presence of multiple crossing guards at intersections of the middle school I recently passed in Ocean Park. I feel that by middle school, one should be able to safely cross the street. If one is unable to meet this minimum requirement, I feel society may be ok without you. Social Darwinism as they call it. Of course, I’m really upset by the reality that as a taxpayer I would be paying for said crossing guard. They are probably pulling $20/hour plus some ridiculous benefit package. Fuckers.
I feel somewhat naked without a power source for this computer. As a positive, I’m excited about the new computer which I expect will have a materially longer battery life. It is also lighter and of course, faster. Almost by definition it has to be faster than this beast.
Though I’m generally excited about Friday dinner, tonight I must say I am dreading it. I’ll just leave that alone. That is what newcomers do. They just speak as if what they are saying is interesting. I did it. Most others have done it. I just don’t want to receive it. Ear rape. While I like that this is an outdoor location in ocean park, I am disappointed because 1) no attractive women within my purview (not that I would approach them. When was the last time I approached a strange woman) (2) sitting outside i see passersby rather than people sitting static- similarly the few stationary people who i am observing arent situated in a way that allows me to evesdrop on their conversations.
I doubt I’m really a writer. All I could think about after hearing that my brother would wed in the next year is that ‘I hope im not the best man so I don’t have to make that stupid fucking speech’. Secondly, I never have anything to message the ladies on okc. Really just nothing. What kinda writer am I? I’m pretty sure that message I just sent will receive no response. I wish I’d have been on my game when that Asian had passed although picking up a woman (which would’ve involved entertaining a three set) in passing is quite challenging. How much less likely does the three set make it (vs if she were walking alone)? I’ll have the statistics group look into it.
What does it say when a woman refers to herself as an actor rather than an actress? Do loiterers multiply or go exponential. Again they are all looking for a charge. But here there are no outlets. That said, admittedly I am not sensitive to the plight of the poor. Swap the P for an F (flight of the poor) and you’d have something interesting. But while the gap between rich and poor has never been greater, given that we are all glued to a screen (cpu, ipad, iphone, etc), the way we live life has probably never been more similar. Both across economic groups but also across countries, cultures, etc. That was friggen profound and you heard it here first.
Does the vanilla rooibos taste better here than at Sbux? That may be. We are dealing with comparatively worse ambiance though the WeHo Sbux was no prize locale. I’m grateful that I can walk and get around – being restricted by injury would be very difficult for most people and particularly difficult for me. The vagrants dominate the Santa Monica area. Well not dominate but they certainly are well represented round these parts. That one created tremendous anxiety for me as 1) I felt he was going to interact with me (2) I didn’t want to deal with him after denying him whatever amount of money he sought (3) I was nervous that he would damage my possessions (back to the point about the significance of the iPad world) – I literally have all my most prized possessions with me – I felt this would make plausible denial of having any cash very difficult (4) I feared that he smelled, making the potential nasal and psychological damage inflicted in a prolonged conflict more daunting than the reduction of social status implied by looks of disapproval emanating from a verbal confrontation over my refusal to part with a dollar. That last sentence is too cumbersome but you get my drift.